Desperately Wanting Something
by vaer
Summary: "Love your family. Spend time, be kind and serve one another. Make no room for regrets. Tomorrow is not promised and today is short." A modern day Anidala story told in snapshots that will be high in family feels. Written 2014


**Backstory** : I wrote this whole story around 2014ish. I recently retrieved the file pertaining this full story on my old laptop, and I thought I should post it if only to show how much I have improved in the past three years. Please take this entire thing with a grain of salt as it is mostly unedited (save for fixing some egregious spelling errors I noticed from a mile away) and reeks of staleness at times. I am posting this under the good faith that you will not judge my future works by what you encounter here; believe me, I've gotten better.

Enough excuses for my past self's lameness...On with the show!

* * *

 _Desperately Wanting Something_

 _Part I: Friendship of Our Youth_

* * *

I.

Padmé Naberrie was just a little girl when she first met the even smaller boy she'd come to know as Anakin Skywalker. She stood obediently beside her mother, looking at the blond tyke before her with large, inquisitive brown eyes. The boy, who stood with his own mother, bounced happily about on both feet clearly wanting to run off and play on the playground not too far from their little meeting spot.

Though just a young girl herself, Padmé was still smart. She guessed the boy was at least a few years younger than herself, if not a bit more.

 _A baby_ , she thought.

Her mother smiled one of those sweet, ' _make your best impression darling_ ' smiles and grabbed her daughter's hand, briefly squeezing it. "Padmé, this is our new neighbor, Ms. Shmi Skywalker. And that's her son. Introduce yourself."

Ever the good girl Padmé proceeded to step forward. She particularly wanted to make a good impression on the mother of the boy, the lady with the kind brown eyes not too unlike her own.

She smiled softly, "Hello ma'am. My name is - "

"I'm Anakin!" the little boy called out rather rudely, a large grin plastered on his small round face. The boy - Anakin began to rock on his feet, eagerly waiting for his new friend to get the introductions over with so the two of them could hurry and play together.

 _He's a baby._ Padmé reminded herself. She had to forgive his rudeness.

Knowing her daughter all too well, Mrs. Naberrie gave her child a gentle, reassuring squeeze to the shoulder.

Clearing her throat, "Padmé. My name is Padmé. Nice to meet you both."

The antsy Anakin wasted no time. "Wanna go play, Paddy?"

"My name's - "

"Tag! You're it!" Anakin pushed her roughly, his size belying his strength, before he took off running, laughing as he went.

By the time the boy took the time to stop and look over his shoulder, wanting to make sure his new friend was following him, Padmé could feel her mother's and Ms. Skywalker's eyes on her expectantly.

 _Ever the good girl, darling_. Padmé could almost hear her mother's voice echo in her head, followed by her mother lightly scolding her for not playing more with other children.

Shrugging off her hesitation she dashed off after him, ready to tag him back.

She hadn't played like this in - well, forever. Her legs were unaccustomed to running, and to her surprise, the small boy who couldn't have been much older than four or five was a fast runner. Yet, she almost believed he was being considerate. It may have been her imagination, but she could have sworn she saw him slow down just a little, actually giving her a chance to gain some ground on him before he sped off once again. Either he was a very thoughtful little boy or he was teasing her. She had yet to figure the strange little boy known as Anakin Skywalker out.

A few feet away Ms. Skywalker and Mrs. Naberrie watched with small smiles. "Your son has a lot of enthusiasm." Mrs. Naberrie laughed. "I hope he is able to bring some of that zest for life out of my daughter. She's a fantastic girl, but she can become so withdrawn sometimes within her books or studies."

Ms. Skywalker nodded, her eyes never leaving the playing children. "And perhaps your daughter can be a calm, positive influence on my son. He's a bit rambunctious, as you can tell."

"Here's to hoping, Shmi. Either way, I feel those two are going to be great friends."

* * *

II.

Playful screams and raucous laughter could be heard throughout the Naberrie's backyard.

What had started out as a game borne of boredom on that hot summer day was quickly becoming a serious issue between the two friends.

"You're it!" Cried out Padmé with no real thought as to use her inside voice - as Anakin would say, they were outside after all.

Her hand just did brush against Anakin's back. She still wasn't the best runner, but she was getting better with every passing season. Now her friend actually had to work to keep her off his heels.

Huffing and puffing heavily but refusing to call a time-out Anakin turned on a dime and ran after Padmé who wasted no time in trying to put distance between the two of them.

"Hey! Slow down!" He cried out. He laughed as he spoke, but Padmé knew he really meant it. She was getting good at this. Laughing at his request, she glanced briefly over her shoulder to look at how far away he was. Far enough.

"No way! You'll just have to catch me, Ani!" It was his newest nickname. The name derived from his annoying insistence on calling her Paddy even after realizing her name was certainly not Paddy. She had hoped to irritate the boy with the nickname but as it turned out he rather liked it and the name had simply stuck.

"Can't catch me, Ani!" Speeding forward, twisting and swerving around the trees and the swingset that belonged to herself and her sister, Padmé was confident she would win this time. _Finally_.

Her laughter floated sweetly to her mother's ears as she watched the children thoroughly enjoys themselves. To Mrs. Naberrie's right side sat Shmi Skywalker. The older woman watched the children warmly as she sipped her tea. She spared a glance at Jobal Naberrie, a silent look that said without saying _'Hows that for a zest for life?_ ' Jobal simply grinned.

Deep in their midst of their game Padmé could not help herself, she had to take a moment to catch her breath. She wanted to win, of course, but she also wanted not to die. Taking his opportunity, Anakin forced his legs to go faster, using his momentum to tackle Padmé to the ground. Tagging her shoulder, he howled with laughter before throwing his arms up in victory crying out, "I've won!"

Padmé was instantly annoyed with the younger child. "You can't win at tag by claiming you've won, Anakin! It's an endurance contest."

"Endewwhat?" Anakin repeats dumbly before smiling and saying assuredly "But I did! I just won!" If possible, Anakin's smile becomes larger as an idea strikes him. Making quick work of the idea, he began to tickle Padmé having her cry out in laughter.

"Stop it! Stooop! Ani, stop it!" She laughs out, wiggling around under him. It would probably be easy to throw Anakin Skywalker off of her if she tried. After all, at the end of the day, he's only five and she's nine - edging on ten. Yet she doesn't have the heart to, and as punishment is mercilessly tickled by slightly sticky hands.

"Not until you say I won!" His fingers continue to tickle her sides, smiling a toothy grin at her.

"Okay! Okay! You win! You Win!" She finally barks out. She is thankful when the tickling stops, allowing her to catch her breath slightly even as giggles continue to carry on in her throat. Anakin, proudly victorious, takes a seat next to her on the grass and watches her as she tries to regain her composure.

Once she is finally able to cease her bubbling giggles, she sighs contentedly and stretches out on the warm summer ground. Anakin, like the copy-cat most children are at his age, mimics her with a bright smile.

The duo just lay there, both staring up at the sky all while enjoying their comfortable friendly silence.

In that peaceful instance, Padmé finds herself having a peculiar thought out of nowhere. It's a silly though really. Impractical and illogical and weird.

...But she finds herself thinking she wouldn't mind staying right here forever. Forever in her childhood with her best friend Ani.

* * *

III.

Padmé always thought of herself as Padmé first and foremost. It would not be too far off base for one to say that sometimes the very intelligent child forgot that she was more than just Padmé; that she was also a girl.

Puberty helped remind her.

Going through puberty meant big changes for a girl bordering on a young woman, and Padmé, at the tender age of twelve and a half, found herself experiencing one of them.

Bras had been something her mother had taken great solemn, yet gleeful motherly duty in helping her buy only days before. In all truth, Padmé didn't see much use for the contraptions, not in her case, but her mother and older sister had insisted.

So, that was how she found herself that morning. Standing in front of her mirror, dressed only in blue jeans, eyeing her selection skeptically. Should she wear the pink one with white flowers? The blue one with yellow stars? Or how about the purple one with faint gold stitching? Though she saw little need for a bra, she couldn't help but feel like this decision was important. As she did with everything, Padmé took anything she deemed important with the utmost seriousness.

Nodding her head resolutely she decided on the blue with yellow stars one. Putting it on she reached around her back for the clasp. Fixing it into place she frowned at how snugly it fit on her chest. Was that normal? Probably. She sighed. It would just be another thing for her to get used to, she supposed.

Still...

Twirling around she took a moment to admire her changing shape in the mirror. A new sense of...something washed over her. Was it normal for something as inane as one's first bra to make you feel...adult?

She twirled once. Twice. And smiled. _I'm...I'm growing up,_ she thought to herself giddily. Of course, she had known she was getting older, but it wasn't until the concrete evidence of her maturity stared back at her did she realize that her days as a child were numbered. Soon she'd be a teen! Maybe then people would listen to her more, maybe then -

Suddenly, just as her thoughts were getting good, her door bursts open and an eight-year-old Anakin came in announcing with all the dramatics in the world "I am so bored, Padmé! I'm going - " His voice trailed off into silence as he realized he was staring at his best friend shirtless, donning only a bra and jeans.

His face grew pinker than her plush fawn that sat over in the corner of her room. Padmé's face began to twitch as Anakin opened his mouth to speak but found no words. Her embarrassment and anger ( _WHY CAN'T HE EVER KNOCK!?_ ) began to bubble up just as Anakin began to articulate dumbly, repeating the words "Uh" and "Um" over and over again.

 _No._ Anakin Skywalker would not stand there gaping, bumbling awkwardly over his own tongue as she stood humiliated.

"Get out! Get out, get out, get out!" Padmé cried, throwing the closest item; a pillow, at Anakin's head. The pillow seemed to have knocked some sense into the young boy because he regained some of his mental faculties and hurried out of the room, face now burning crimson. Padmé wasted no time slamming the door shut behind him.

Embarrassed tears pricked at her brown eyes as she fought to keep them from falling. She couldn't believe her rotten luck. She couldn't believe Anakin's rudeness for always letting himself in. He'd have to stop, she told herself. She was growing up. She wasn't a kid anymore. Soon she'd be starting middle school, while Anakin was no more than a young boy. How much longer could this friendship realistically last?

 _Pretty soon I'll be going on dates and he'll still be playing with Star Trek figures_ , she thought numbly.

No, she didn't want to think about that now. She shook off her negative thoughts.

It only took Padmé a few more minutes and to think before she headed to the living room. As she expected, she found Anakin there, still adorning pink hues to his checks. Doing her best to shake off her earlier humiliation, Padmé spoke evenly as possible, "Well, come on. You said you were bored, let's just go already."

As she headed towards the front door with Anakin hurrying behind to catch up, she heard him peep meekly "I'm sorry."

* * *

IV.

Going off to college at the age of sixteen was sorta a big deal. It was also a huge change in the way Padmé would have to live her life. Being the excelling academic that she was, she had easily gotten dozens of letters from colleges from all over the States. The one she picked however happened to be far away from her home. From her family. From her friends.

Though Padmé was thrilled to have the opportunity, even given the sacrifices, she was not oblivious to the fact that the new had left the eleven-year-old Anakin feeling bitter, not that he'd ever admit it. He felt she was abandoning him, and maybe she was on some subconscious level. She cared deeply for her little friend, but there was only so many things an eleven-year-old and sixteen-year-old had in common. Their friendship, though still there, had become strained lately, and this newest college development didn't help matters at all.

Anakin, up until then, had a seldom seen temper that now had started rearing it's ugly head more than Padmé personally cared for.

He was angry. He was sad. He was afraid.

Shmi confided in Padmé one afternoon that her son was even considering not seeing her off when the day came.

"He appears hardier than he is. Anakin's a sensitive boy, you know that. He feels like he's losing you forever, sweetheart." Ms. Skywalker had told her, and for a brief moment, Padmé felt sorry for leaving Ani. Despite his bravado and friendliness, she knew he didn't have many friends beyond her.

"Anakin's a sweet, amazing boy, Shmi." Padmé assured the older woman. "He'll be fine. He'll forget all about me soon enough."

As much as she cared for her strange little friend, Padmé would not put her life on hold for him no matter how much she adored him. Padmé wasn't a selfish person, but she knew she had to think of herself first.

In the end, Anakin did see her off.

"You'll call me all the time right?" he asked, his now slightly gangly, awkward preteen figure slouched in her presence. He was no longer even attempting to hide the sadness consuming him. His blue eyes had started to water, but his pride stopped him from crying in front of her.

It pulled at her heartstrings.

 _Oh, Ani..._

A sad smile warped Padmé's pretty face. Unexpectantly her eyes began to glisten with moisture, losing their usual happy glow.

"Of course, every single day," she promised, and in that moment she meant it.

Looking at him now, a part of her almost wanted to skip the plane ride and walk back home, hand-in-hand with Anakin, but that was a ridiculous thought. She needed this. She _needed_ a _future_.

Repeating this as if it were her life's mantra, she tried to soothe Anakin's frayed nerves with easy conversation. "You'll have to tell me about your adventures on the phone, okay? And don't start trouble with that Asajj girl again. Study hard. Listen to your mother. Make sure you -"

"Stop that," Anakin sniffled weakly.

"Stop what, Ani?" She ruffled his hair with motherly affection.

"Acting like I'm just a little kid." He sulked.

Padmé smiled, almost apologetically at him. "But you are Ani. You're just a little boy."

"I won't always be," came his quick response, as if he had been waiting to say just those words for some time.

 _No...I guess you won't..._ Padme thought with a sad, motherly smile. _One day you'll be all grown up. And you won't be my little Ani anymore._ The thought hurt a little.

"I'm going to miss you so much." Anakin quietly blurted out, the words nearly choked in his throat as he lunged towards her, hugging her as tightly as his arms would allow.

He was still shorter than her, but not by too much anymore. _What if when I see him again he's a giant, hulking teenager? That'd be weird._ She mused on this for only a moment before kissing the top of his head, a gesture his mother often did to him. He smiled the tiniest bit up at her and she felt warm inside.

"I'm going to miss you too," Padmé told him truthfully. Together they stood there simply embracing one another. Anakin solemnly swore a million things to her in that moment. He'd call her every day. He'd write to her every week. He'd see her again soon. Padmé, a bit older and wiser than he, knew that many of his promises would probably fall through, as life was cruel like that sometimes, but chose to remain silent in her own cynicism.

And with a final sad smile Padmé Amidala Naberrie walked out of Anakin Skywalker's life.


End file.
